This was brought to my attention again, I looked back at what I’d written back in mid Oct on this subject and was appalled at the post. I had to remind myself that I was just starting out blogging, but still…. I got my point across about those who won’t prepare and then show up and expect you to take care of them. That really wasn’t what I started out to talk about, though.
Here’s what my immediate family is like: Dad is 91 and has advanced Alzheimer’s; he lives with my older sister who has gone through some awful things, literal captivity in the Middle East, death of a child and more. She claims her religion has gotten her through, but she’s become bitter, angry (almost hatefully so), extremely secrative and highly controlling. Two of her surviving three children now live with her, one is an opiod addict who isn’t really fully committed to recovery and her daughter with her boyfriend who is also pregnant now. Plus their dog and two cats. All three of my brothers live in other cities. I have a twin whom Freud must have had in mind when he came up with his Ego Defense Mechanisms. She sees herself as being loving, generous and kind. When, in reality, she is the exact opposite and when this fact comes to her attention, will blame it on others. They said it or did it, not her. Mentally ill or not, this kind of outright dishonesty will disastrous for any kind of group cohesion and her need for constant drama will tear people apart. Like she did with our family time and time again. I was told she had a heart attack last weekend and no one went to see her. She did this to herself and won’t see that. She just used it to throw a Pity Party.
Here’s my point: my older sister did start prepping last spring and shops at COSTCO now and does have extra food. She now believes they will ride out a collapse by staying in their house in an area where looters will head after they’ve striped their neighborhoods, she hasn’t allowed any firearms to be brought into her house and so, they have no way to defend themselves. She thinks they will all just show up at our house, we’ll come back to get them and take them all to our bugout location and we’ll protect them. My husband and I have talked about this and agree that we’d take dad, my niece and her boyfriend, but can’t trust a junkie or a woman who is willing to hide everything even from family. As you can imagine, this will be a major problem.
Add to this, my husband’s biological mother is not a very loving person, he feels obligated to take her in, but she’s another person who loves drama and is dishonest. His step-mother lives a 5 hour drive away and she is the one we’d both fight to the death to save. His half brother lives in California, is in the process of becoming a woman, is married to a traditional Japanese woman (who isn’t happy about the change, but is stuck with it), but he/she is starting to prep and come around. They would have to get out to us on their own. My son lives in the same state and would come with them along with his best friend. They will be welcome and we’ve stockpiled food and other supplies knowing they all won’t be able to bring much.
My twin will pretty much be driven off with rocks and a shotgun if need be. It does still hurt and bother me that the person who is literally my “other half” (we came from the same egg) is the last person I want near me. After decades of being burned by her, I just can not trust her enough to know she’d have my back during a disaster.
Here’s the bottom line: even if you love them, you have to be able to trust them completely. Addicts of any substances (alcohol, speed, downers or even tobacco) will eventually run out of it and either go into withdrawal and/or become obsessed with finding it. When they are drinking or high they will be untrustworthy, to say the least, think about their actions normally, then think about having to trust your life or your children’s lives to them. Do this brutally and honestly and you should come to the conclusion that unless they get clean and stay clean you can’t bring them in. You do run a high risk of them being passed out drunk, zoned out high or jittery high and unable to settle.
Dishonesty and drama will tear a group apart in a time when trust and cohesion are crucial. Again, be brutally honest with yourself if you can trust them enough to be there when you need them.
In these cases, when lives are on the line, showing up with no food will be the least of your problems.